Total Anxiety

Do you have as much of a hard time being around conflict as I do? Man, I have to tell you nothing can make me feel more uncomfortable than that.

I grew up in a home where everything was always on edge. You lived from one minute to the next not knowing what would happen next. Because of this I think I suffer in ways that most people don't, I think that any way. I am not one of those people that blame things that are wrong in their life on their childhood because I am actually a good example that people can be very different from their parents.

When there is conflict around me I get so nervous and feel scared to some point. I wish I didn't feel this way and I don't know how to make it better for myself. I have tried several ways to control how I react, but my first reaction is to run and get as far away as I can. Even when I am not directly involved that feeling totally takes over me.

I am best known for trying to make everything good for everyone else. I have been know to be able to give wonderful advise to other people and give them comfort but when it comes to myself, I tend to keep things in and act like everything is ok. Most people think that I am just a very calm person but inside I don't feel that way at all.

Do any of you feel like that out there? Is there any piece of advise you can share with me? Just sharing stories sometimes can be a great help and writing things down has always helped me where I verbally have some problems. I appreciate your thoughts, imput, or any story you would like to share. This is one of those things I would like to make an improvement on in 2009.