When you talk with someone do you listen to what the other person is saying or are you quick to react without taking a moment to think about what is really being said? Learning to communicate healthy is important. If you feel that you lack in this area, it is a very good place to start learning new skills.
We have all kind of grown up and developed communication skills that may not be working well for us. Maybe you find that you don't express how you are feeling well, or maybe you feel that you never understand others very well. These communication problems can be worked on. You can learn different skills and different methods to try that may help you.
One of the things that get in peoples way is they don't take the time to talk in a healthy manner. People are always in a rush to get to the next conversation or errand, by the end of the day they can't even remember any conversation they may have had.
If there is an important conversation you have to have with someone find a place and time that is compatible to both and sit down to talk. Make sure that you are in a place where there can be no distractions. It is important if you are the one that initiated this that you need to begin and tell in a calm manner what it is that is on your mind. When you are done with what you need to say make sure you listen to what the other person has to say and give it a minute thought before you react. Keeping matters calm and the other person knowing that you are listening to them will make your conversation more productive.
Notice the person that is troubled and may need to vent. Offer them a good ear and listen to what they have to say. Sometimes people do not need your advice but they need someone to just listen. This is also healthy communication.
The more you work on your communication skills the more you will find that you will feel like you accomplished something very important to you. When you use healthy communication skills, you tend to leave your conversations knowing that you understand the person you have spoken with better, and that person understands you. If you don't practice those skills, your conversations will end with you questioning did I get my point across?, was I to demanding?, or maybe you didn't understand one thing that you were told but you didn't take the time to question them.
If you feel that you need to work on your communication skills then start today, it is something you can do.
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Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
What Are Your Summer Plans
What are your summer plans? Are you planning to go on a vacation of any kind? There are things you can do to get away and not spend a lot of money.
I am projecting that there will be many people not going on vacation this year and that can bring feelings of unfairness. Everyone needs to escape even if it is just a little one. We all work hard and get caught up in our every day functions. Levels of stress add up and there just doesn't seem to be any release offered.
Instead of planning that big Florida vacation that will cost you more money than you have available why not look into a lake that is near you. Cottages can run so cheap for a week at lake resorts and you don't need a lot of extra money to spend. You will get away, have a beach and lake to go to, and there will be functions happening around with people to enjoy them with.
My husband and I, about five years ago, bought a used trailer that someone just didn't need any more. We didn't spend a lot of money on it and we put it in a campsite near a lake about two and a half hours away from where we live. We go there almost every weekend from the end of May through October.
We, also, in those years purchased a pontoon boat from someone who didn't want it any more and sold it at a great price.We fixed it up a little and we use it all the time. We know friends there and get together a lot on and off the lake. The fires we have at our camps are the best.
Now we have a vacation every year and we get to go often without spending tons of money. Actually we spend less there because when you are home and go out it cost a lot. Every weekend we can't wait to get there, the peace and enjoyment it brings us you can't even imagine.
So don't punish yourself because you can't afford that big vacation, the little ones are just as rewarding.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Work Together To Make Things Less Stressful
The weather is getting nicer outside and many people are beginning to plan their summer projects. There are so many things that are easier to get accomplished in the nice weather that you start to see everyone going outside again.
Money being tight for everyone is a major problem on what we chose to accomplish. It comes to a toss up of what is really neccessary and what you can afford. This causes a lot of stress to pick and chose for fear that you might make a wrong decision and have the one thing that you thought could last another year won't.
For me, we had to take some trees down that were causing damage to our house. In taking those trees down we found that we had to hire someone to take out the stumps, then you need to fix the lawn to get grass to grow and so fourth. We have a porch that is falling apart, a roof that needs replaced, and a air conditioning unit that has given us problems for a few years now. What to fix and how far can your money go??
One thing that we can all take comfort in is that we are not alone in this area. There are so many people out there that are having extreme stress over these problems. My only advice is to take it day by day, start on something that you can get accomplished and see how much you have left over before you decide what is next. There are many places that will give you free estimates and give good advice on how to maintain with what you have until you can afford to fix or replace something.
Many people are trying to do things themselves these days and that is not a bad idea. I have a better one though, you have to know that your friend or neighbor might need to have something done too. Help each other, make plans to work together and accomplish both of your goals.
With the world the way it is today, we all have to help each other. There are so many people out of jobs or they have a job and they are still struggling. So much stress out there! Maybe it is time for us to all pull together and turn that stress into a really good, positive attitude.
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Money being tight for everyone is a major problem on what we chose to accomplish. It comes to a toss up of what is really neccessary and what you can afford. This causes a lot of stress to pick and chose for fear that you might make a wrong decision and have the one thing that you thought could last another year won't.
For me, we had to take some trees down that were causing damage to our house. In taking those trees down we found that we had to hire someone to take out the stumps, then you need to fix the lawn to get grass to grow and so fourth. We have a porch that is falling apart, a roof that needs replaced, and a air conditioning unit that has given us problems for a few years now. What to fix and how far can your money go??
One thing that we can all take comfort in is that we are not alone in this area. There are so many people out there that are having extreme stress over these problems. My only advice is to take it day by day, start on something that you can get accomplished and see how much you have left over before you decide what is next. There are many places that will give you free estimates and give good advice on how to maintain with what you have until you can afford to fix or replace something.
Many people are trying to do things themselves these days and that is not a bad idea. I have a better one though, you have to know that your friend or neighbor might need to have something done too. Help each other, make plans to work together and accomplish both of your goals.
With the world the way it is today, we all have to help each other. There are so many people out of jobs or they have a job and they are still struggling. So much stress out there! Maybe it is time for us to all pull together and turn that stress into a really good, positive attitude.
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Nutricious Drink.....
In earlier years we would have never heard of liquid vitamin supplements. We always were told to take pills to get our vitamin supplements. Taking Vitamin supplement pills always worked fine but they have found that they don't get into your bloodstream as quick as they would like. You lose some of the benefits of taking a vitamin supplement when this happens. Over the years they have found that liquid vitamin supplements are a remedy to this problem.
Eating fruits and vegetables regularly can also be a remedy to this problem but many people do not eat enough of them to give them enough vitamins. You couldn't possibly eat the amount of fruit and vegetables it would take to equal what you could get from a liquid vitamins supplement or even a vitamin supplement pill.
To have accurate amounts of nutrients, you have to take a vitamin supplement. To give your body the right amount of supplements it requires, we have always been told to take a supplement vitamin. If you want to take a supplement vitamin and have it do its job and get into your bloodstream immediately, a liquid vitamin supplement is recommended. With liquid vitamin supplements you will be healthier and the healthier you are the longer you will live. Where we live in such a busy world, liquid vitamins is also something that is easy to have with you where ever you may be. Taking care of yourself through taking the recommended amount of vitamin supplements is a positive direction. If you would like some wonderful liquid recipes click on the link below, you won't be sorry.
"Over a 120 Quick and Easy Smoothie Recipes That Give You More Energy and Stamina!"
Click Here For More
Eating fruits and vegetables regularly can also be a remedy to this problem but many people do not eat enough of them to give them enough vitamins. You couldn't possibly eat the amount of fruit and vegetables it would take to equal what you could get from a liquid vitamins supplement or even a vitamin supplement pill.
To have accurate amounts of nutrients, you have to take a vitamin supplement. To give your body the right amount of supplements it requires, we have always been told to take a supplement vitamin. If you want to take a supplement vitamin and have it do its job and get into your bloodstream immediately, a liquid vitamin supplement is recommended. With liquid vitamin supplements you will be healthier and the healthier you are the longer you will live. Where we live in such a busy world, liquid vitamins is also something that is easy to have with you where ever you may be. Taking care of yourself through taking the recommended amount of vitamin supplements is a positive direction. If you would like some wonderful liquid recipes click on the link below, you won't be sorry.
"Over a 120 Quick and Easy Smoothie Recipes That Give You More Energy and Stamina!"
Click Here For More
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
What Is Wrong With People???????
Last night something happened that really bothered me and I can't seem to get it out of my head. I'm not sure that it is about my topic but I'm sure that together we will find a way to make it relate to becoming a new me.
I live in Pittsburgh and I went to the hockey game last night, which by the way was fantastic!! When leaving after the Penguins won the game, the parking lot was packed. Of course people were really wound up and excited from watching such a great game.
Walking through the parking lot to get to our car was a experience. There were cars everywhere rushing to be the first to leave. One car had bumped into another car trying to back out of their space. When I say bump, I mean there was no damage. You would have thought it was a fatal crisis that happened because it almost caused a fist fight. People were screaming at each other, threats were flying out of peoples mouths. I don't know how it ended because I just stayed away from that situation.
So anyway, now we are in our car and waiting what felt like forever to get out of the parking lot. I'm telling you that we were only like ten cars back but was in line to get onto the main street for at least twenty minutes. Now remember that the parking lot is packed so you can imagine how many cars there were behind and around us. Of course people are screaming and honking their horns like there is something that someone could do about this mess.
Now here comes the thing that bothered me most. While we were sitting waiting in our car, we saw a girl get hit by this car on the main street. I did not see it happen but the people in the car with me did. They said the girl actually flipped up in the air and down on her back. Do you think the person in the car got out to see if this person was ok?
The answer for that question is NO! The people that were behind that car got out and helped the girl to safety and the car that hit her tried to leave. The people that was helping went over to try to stop that car from leaving, the woman in the passenger side of that car did open her door hopefully to see if everyone was ok but closed the door back up and the car left. People tried to stop them but they cut into the other lane and kept going.
How can someone hit a human being and just leave? Where were the cops that should have been controlling this out of control traffic that lead to these events? I have been to many events there and never seen things get so bad. Most of all I am concerned about this person driving the car. The girl that was hit was walking with a limp but she was alive and functioning which made me feel so much better. Thank god that there is good people out there that do step in and help. She had many people helping her at that time that is why we stayed in our car. But this person driving, what is up with that? How can you look at yourself in the mirror and think that was ok?
To the driver of that car, I hope someone got your license number and reported you, you deserve to be punished. No matter what situation you were in, your actions were totally unacceptable!
I live in Pittsburgh and I went to the hockey game last night, which by the way was fantastic!! When leaving after the Penguins won the game, the parking lot was packed. Of course people were really wound up and excited from watching such a great game.
Walking through the parking lot to get to our car was a experience. There were cars everywhere rushing to be the first to leave. One car had bumped into another car trying to back out of their space. When I say bump, I mean there was no damage. You would have thought it was a fatal crisis that happened because it almost caused a fist fight. People were screaming at each other, threats were flying out of peoples mouths. I don't know how it ended because I just stayed away from that situation.
So anyway, now we are in our car and waiting what felt like forever to get out of the parking lot. I'm telling you that we were only like ten cars back but was in line to get onto the main street for at least twenty minutes. Now remember that the parking lot is packed so you can imagine how many cars there were behind and around us. Of course people are screaming and honking their horns like there is something that someone could do about this mess.
Now here comes the thing that bothered me most. While we were sitting waiting in our car, we saw a girl get hit by this car on the main street. I did not see it happen but the people in the car with me did. They said the girl actually flipped up in the air and down on her back. Do you think the person in the car got out to see if this person was ok?
The answer for that question is NO! The people that were behind that car got out and helped the girl to safety and the car that hit her tried to leave. The people that was helping went over to try to stop that car from leaving, the woman in the passenger side of that car did open her door hopefully to see if everyone was ok but closed the door back up and the car left. People tried to stop them but they cut into the other lane and kept going.
How can someone hit a human being and just leave? Where were the cops that should have been controlling this out of control traffic that lead to these events? I have been to many events there and never seen things get so bad. Most of all I am concerned about this person driving the car. The girl that was hit was walking with a limp but she was alive and functioning which made me feel so much better. Thank god that there is good people out there that do step in and help. She had many people helping her at that time that is why we stayed in our car. But this person driving, what is up with that? How can you look at yourself in the mirror and think that was ok?
To the driver of that car, I hope someone got your license number and reported you, you deserve to be punished. No matter what situation you were in, your actions were totally unacceptable!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Massage, Good For Reducing Stress
Having a great massage is probably one of the most enjoyable remedies for stress. Laying there in a place where the world can't get to you and having someone just help you to relax is a very welcome cure. There are so many kinds of massages offered out there today because there are so many people that go to these experts that their methods have expanded.
Many people prefer the hot stone massage or the aroma therapy massage. The techniques are different and they cover different areas. Having a man or a woman might be a important issue to some, most places provide both. Many people do not ask enough questions when they call for a massage. If you have anything that you question, you should ask. As always, if you know someone who has been to a place they love, than that is a good place to start.
There are different symptoms that lead people to need a good massage. Maybe you are experiencing headaches, stiffness in the body, and problems with motion or flexibility. Some go because they are experiencing a lot of emotional stress and just need to find a release.
When you are calling to make your appointment you should ask what different kinds of massages are offered and let them know exactly what you need in return. Together you should be able to come up with a plan to help your needs.
Massages do not take a long time so it should be easier to fit in your daily schedule. It is not like going to a gym and having to work out, take a shower, and all of that. Find the time that is easiest on you so you don't feel stressed and hurried to get to the next place. Pamper yourself and go try a massage, I guarantee you will not be sorry you did.
Click Here For More
Many people prefer the hot stone massage or the aroma therapy massage. The techniques are different and they cover different areas. Having a man or a woman might be a important issue to some, most places provide both. Many people do not ask enough questions when they call for a massage. If you have anything that you question, you should ask. As always, if you know someone who has been to a place they love, than that is a good place to start.
There are different symptoms that lead people to need a good massage. Maybe you are experiencing headaches, stiffness in the body, and problems with motion or flexibility. Some go because they are experiencing a lot of emotional stress and just need to find a release.
When you are calling to make your appointment you should ask what different kinds of massages are offered and let them know exactly what you need in return. Together you should be able to come up with a plan to help your needs.
Massages do not take a long time so it should be easier to fit in your daily schedule. It is not like going to a gym and having to work out, take a shower, and all of that. Find the time that is easiest on you so you don't feel stressed and hurried to get to the next place. Pamper yourself and go try a massage, I guarantee you will not be sorry you did.
Click Here For More
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Losing My Best Friend Rock
Tough subject to talk about and yet talking about it can help. I mentioned in a previous article about a friend of mine who had died from Aids. I thought maybe sharing our friendship a little might help others to be supportive of others when it is needed.
My friend, Rock, I met when I was a junior in high school. I really can't remember how we met or even the first time we met but it had to be through mutual friends. As Rock and I got to know each other better we started hanging around together on a normal basis.
He was a great dancer and I loved to dance so we would get together and practice in his basement so we could enter dance contests. I should mention that disco was very big back then and, yeah, that is the kind of dancing we did. Rock was a handsome guy and had a lot of girls attention. His personality was very friendly so friends were not hard to come by for him.
Rock and I got so close that we could talk about anything. I can't tell you how many relationships we comforted each other through. At one time we even thought of us becoming a couple but we were just to good of friends for that. Whenever I had a problem, Rock was there for me, as I was for him. I remember helping him with spelling because he was just the worse speller ever. No matter how big or small the situation was in either of our lives, we were there for each other.
Rocks mom and dad were the best too, they treated me like one of the family always. I was there for more family occasions than any girl he ever dated.
When we were about eighteen years old Rock told me he had to talk to me. We went out on his front porch and he told me he was gay. He hadn't told his parents yet and he wanted my advice before he did. I'm not sure if it was the advice or that he just needed to try telling someone else first to see the reaction.
I'm not going to tell you that I never considered his being gay, because I did, but I wasn't certain and dating girls like he did who knew. All I remember feeling when he told me was how much I loved this guy. I cared about him so much and I would never let anything hurt him, especially me.
I told him I was there for him and that I loved him. I knew it was going to be so hard for him to tell his parents but I admired that he didn't want to live holding this secret. It was a little hard at first for his parents but they too loved him and was there to support him.
After I was married, I moved away to Pittsburgh. Rock and I talked on the phone and sent letters here and there. I would go back to Maine and he was always one of the first people I would go see. I even tried to surprise him a few times but it never worked, he always knew it was me. I would go to his house where his partner and him lived and we all had great conversations. I thought I might feel uncomfortable but I never did.
Rock called me one day and told me he had aids. We cried many tears together and talked for a long time. Rock fought for a long time but lost that fight in the end. His last couple weeks were spent in a hospital very sick. I had three children at that time and couldn't go to Maine to be there. I made a tape for him, the tape had all my kids playing music for him and stuff like that and I read to him some of the things that we wrote each other a long time ago. I included pictures of all of our friends and some of the great memories that we shared together. I had the tape and a dozen roses sent to his room at the hospital with a card saying that I would not be buying roses for his funeral, that these were a celebration of our friendship. He called me, as sick as he was, and he enjoyed both very much. I knew it meant a lot to him, I knew I meant a lot to him. That was the last time I spoke with Rock, but he is forever in my heart.
My friend, Rock, I met when I was a junior in high school. I really can't remember how we met or even the first time we met but it had to be through mutual friends. As Rock and I got to know each other better we started hanging around together on a normal basis.
He was a great dancer and I loved to dance so we would get together and practice in his basement so we could enter dance contests. I should mention that disco was very big back then and, yeah, that is the kind of dancing we did. Rock was a handsome guy and had a lot of girls attention. His personality was very friendly so friends were not hard to come by for him.
Rock and I got so close that we could talk about anything. I can't tell you how many relationships we comforted each other through. At one time we even thought of us becoming a couple but we were just to good of friends for that. Whenever I had a problem, Rock was there for me, as I was for him. I remember helping him with spelling because he was just the worse speller ever. No matter how big or small the situation was in either of our lives, we were there for each other.
Rocks mom and dad were the best too, they treated me like one of the family always. I was there for more family occasions than any girl he ever dated.
When we were about eighteen years old Rock told me he had to talk to me. We went out on his front porch and he told me he was gay. He hadn't told his parents yet and he wanted my advice before he did. I'm not sure if it was the advice or that he just needed to try telling someone else first to see the reaction.
I'm not going to tell you that I never considered his being gay, because I did, but I wasn't certain and dating girls like he did who knew. All I remember feeling when he told me was how much I loved this guy. I cared about him so much and I would never let anything hurt him, especially me.
I told him I was there for him and that I loved him. I knew it was going to be so hard for him to tell his parents but I admired that he didn't want to live holding this secret. It was a little hard at first for his parents but they too loved him and was there to support him.
After I was married, I moved away to Pittsburgh. Rock and I talked on the phone and sent letters here and there. I would go back to Maine and he was always one of the first people I would go see. I even tried to surprise him a few times but it never worked, he always knew it was me. I would go to his house where his partner and him lived and we all had great conversations. I thought I might feel uncomfortable but I never did.
Rock called me one day and told me he had aids. We cried many tears together and talked for a long time. Rock fought for a long time but lost that fight in the end. His last couple weeks were spent in a hospital very sick. I had three children at that time and couldn't go to Maine to be there. I made a tape for him, the tape had all my kids playing music for him and stuff like that and I read to him some of the things that we wrote each other a long time ago. I included pictures of all of our friends and some of the great memories that we shared together. I had the tape and a dozen roses sent to his room at the hospital with a card saying that I would not be buying roses for his funeral, that these were a celebration of our friendship. He called me, as sick as he was, and he enjoyed both very much. I knew it meant a lot to him, I knew I meant a lot to him. That was the last time I spoke with Rock, but he is forever in my heart.
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