Taking A Step Back Helps

The best thing to do when you are angry with someone is to take a step backward and take a really good look at the whole situation.

Trying to take that step is definitely not always an easy thing to accomplish. People get very caught up in the moment though when they don't take the time to evaluate the situation. The reactions and words passed are done from anger and not always what you wanted to say or do.

When people get really angry I think the first defense is to hurt the other person as much as you are hurting. The fights get so crazy and out of hand and by the end of them you are fighting over something that didn't even have to do with the problem that started it. Many times you don't even know what started the fight in the first place.

What you do know though is what you said or what the other person said that hurt. Many times people regret things that they say or do and think that an apology will clear it all up. The fact is words hurt, some times they hurt more than being punched, words are hard to forget.

Look at it this way, when somebody says something really nice to you, do you remember it? It is the same thing with someone saying something really bad, hard to forget.

How many times have you watched two people that you care about fight and cringe when they say something you know they didn't mean or shouldn't have said? If we learned to take that step back and take a good look before reacting, not every situation but some, we would have definitely have a different conclusion. Try taking that step back, encourage others to try taking it too.

If people said to each other, just give me fifteen minutes to think this out and then we'll talk, do you think it would work out better for everyone? I do. Make taking a step backward a new fighting rule in your home and let me know how it works for you.

Ways to evolve right here

Total Anxiety

Do you have as much of a hard time being around conflict as I do? Man, I have to tell you nothing can make me feel more uncomfortable than that.

I grew up in a home where everything was always on edge. You lived from one minute to the next not knowing what would happen next. Because of this I think I suffer in ways that most people don't, I think that any way. I am not one of those people that blame things that are wrong in their life on their childhood because I am actually a good example that people can be very different from their parents.

When there is conflict around me I get so nervous and feel scared to some point. I wish I didn't feel this way and I don't know how to make it better for myself. I have tried several ways to control how I react, but my first reaction is to run and get as far away as I can. Even when I am not directly involved that feeling totally takes over me.

I am best known for trying to make everything good for everyone else. I have been know to be able to give wonderful advise to other people and give them comfort but when it comes to myself, I tend to keep things in and act like everything is ok. Most people think that I am just a very calm person but inside I don't feel that way at all.

Do any of you feel like that out there? Is there any piece of advise you can share with me? Just sharing stories sometimes can be a great help and writing things down has always helped me where I verbally have some problems. I appreciate your thoughts, imput, or any story you would like to share. This is one of those things I would like to make an improvement on in 2009.